Party Of One

Business In The Front...And Party In The Back!

2008-01-24T09:12:00.000-05:00

Darling hubby was out of town all last week....in Boston...in January. Not that it was much warmer on the coast of Carolina, but that has nothing to do with my story.

M was in the middle of training for a Hannah Montanna marathon (the only kind of marathon worth training for) and she started singing Billy Ray's classic hit, "I Want My Mullet Back". As if watching a 4 year old sing about mullets, cameros and 8 tracks lost wasn't darling enough, she then changes the words to "I Want My Daddy Back".

I was so touched at the sentiment and yet so disturbed by my 4 year old channeling Billy Ray.

Now I just have to make sure that she never watches Zoe 101.

Slack Ass

2008-01-17T14:59:00.000-05:00

First off, I would like to apologize to the two of you out there that actually read my posts. I have no excuse to give for my absense, except to say that I am a hopeless slack ass that has all intentions of posting everyday, but then inevitably gets side tracked and that's all she wrote....or not.

Anyway, I am now back...again and I look forward to giving you a daily (or at least tri-weekly) chuckle.

Not Even Bribery Is Safe From The Cost Of Inflation

2008-01-02T15:17:00.001-05:00

While we were "home" for Christmas my first cousin got married. This is no ordinary first cousin though, he's more like my little brother. His mom and my mom are sisters and live next door to each other...on the same dirt road as their mom and dad....did I mention that we are the Waltons?

M was one of the flower girls. She's gotten a little weird lately about "performing" in front of people (especially me and her dad for some reason). So when it came time at the rehearsal for her to do her part she refused and proceeded to cry big tears and scream anytime anyone acknowledged her mere existence. Can we say "Diva"?

After a few minutes with Ma Betty (her great-grandmother) M was all thumbs up, ready to charge down the aisle and let us, as a group, look at her. I asked her what changed her mind about the whole flower girl thing and she said with a bit of innocence in her eyes, "Ma Betty said that I could have $20.00".

$20.00!! For $20.00 I'll put on the fairy like dress and toss a few petals around or better yet make her dad.

The big day and more importantly her big time came and sure enough she walked down the aisle like a champ...with not a single petal hitting the floor. She tried to get the money early, but the deal was the she would walk in and OUT. So after the wedding, she's walking around with her money in hand asking when the next wedding is. My little manipulator, I mean entrepreneur.

We're Baaack!

2008-01-02T14:56:00.000-05:00

Well, we are finally back to reality. M starts back to school tomorrow and me and the DH started back to work today. I never thought that I'd miss sitting in front of a computer screen all day....but boy did I ever. Too much family...not enough me time.

We went "home" to visit the family for Christmas. It sounds so funny to most people that I still refer to my parents house as "home". I've been out of their house since I was 18 (I'm much older and a bit wiser now) and I still refer to my parent's house as my "home". I'm wondering myself at what point I am going to grow up and call my own house my home. And will M do the same thing when she flees, I mean moves away?

M had a great Christmas, I think. In all fairness, everyone cut down on the gift exchanges this year and it kinda seemed like M didn't get quite as much as in past years. But you would never know it by her reactions or her excitement. One of her most prized possesssions is a thrift store tutu that I picked up at the very last minute (I mean, like Santa's coming down the chimney last minute). I'll try to post pictures when I can.

Being The Only Ken Doll Has Its Advantages

2007-12-20T10:08:00.000-05:00

So, M is in her playroom playing quietly (first indication that something was askew). I called up to her to and she said that she is having a party with her barbies. Great I say, what kind of party? (Please note that all said dolls are naked). M holds up naked Ken and says, "We're spreading frosting and adding sprinkles."

Completely shocked and trying not to laugh my ass off, I quickly tell her that that is not an appropriate thing to do at a party and ask why she chose Ken to be the recipient of such folly. She innocently says, "Because he likes it".

And judging by the smile on his face, undoubtedly he does.

It's The Shoes That Makes The Pre-Schooler

2007-12-18T15:48:00.000-05:00

After weeks of hearing bits and pieces of this Christmas song and that Christmas song we finally got the chance to hear the songs as they were meant to be heard...being screamed from the mouths of 30 or so 4 year olds.

I must admit that M is a performer and took her role very seriously, but being the true diva that she is, she was ultimately more concerned with what shoes she would be wearing. Being all decked out in her best Christmas dress is simply not enough...we MUST wear the black patent leather shoes to just set the outfit off. Mind you, these are the same shoes that I am trying to preserve for her role as Flower girl in a wedding the weekend after Christmas. And we all know how careful 4 year olds are with their shoes. (Do you sense the sarcasm?) So after many tears (mostly mine) I let her wear the shoes. She calls them her "tap" shoes. And to my amazement, she was actually careful with them and took them off as soon as we entered the house after the performance. It did help that the children performed INSTEAD of the daily playing on the dirt playground. So the shoes went back in the box until the wedding, at which time I told M that she could wear them wherever and with whatever she so desired, as long it is not illegal. You should have seen the disappointment on her face.

*Notice that the only picture from the entire performance (stupid rechargeable batteries) has the shoes cut out of the shot.

The Logic That IS Elmo

2007-12-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

Me: M, why didn't you tell Mommy you had to go potty?

M: I don't know.

Me: What does Elmo say to do when you have to go potty?

M: "Stop what you are doing and go!"

Me: Then why didn't you stop and go?

M: I'm not Elmo.

Can't argue with that.

Through The Eyes Of A Parent

2007-12-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

Last night me and M watched Frosty The Snowman. Is it just me, or do those cartoons seem shorter than they did when I was a kid. I swear ol' Rankin & Bass left some scenes out of the version we watched last night (originally aired last Friday night....I do love me some DVR).

So anyway, we're watching Frosty and M is really getting into it and then I start to realize that I'm watching Frosty like a "parent" watches Frosty....mumbling to myself that its Winter time and those kids need more clothes on to play out in the snow, and wondering what kind of influence Frosty actually was. I mean Karen hadn't even thought about going to the North Pole with him until he mentioned it. And of course she was all like "Sure, as long as I'm back in time for dinner". Makes you wonder what would have happened if Frosty had offered her 'shrooms that he had hidden underneath that "magic hat". I'm sure Santa would have come along and saved the day, but this time he'd be driving a VW Vanagon.

Tonight we're watching Frosty Returns. I'm anxious to see the after school special that pops into my head.

A Thought Before Bedtime

2007-12-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

M: Mommy, I want to have good dreams tonight, not bad ones.

Me (Mommy): Why don't you dream about Gracie then?

M: Gracie, Kodi, Winston and that girl that takes care of them?

Me: Girl?

M: Yeah, the one you talked about at Thanksgiving. The one that lives in heaven and takes
care of Kodi, Winston & now Gracie.

Me: Oh, you mean Grandma Hazel?

M: Yeah, her. I'll dream about all of them and have good dreams tonight.

My little girl has such a great memory. We only talked about Grandma Hazel for a bit at Thanksgiving. I never knew Grandma Hazel and so of course M never knew her. But to her she is a "girl that takes care of them". That's a pretty good way to look at it...don't you think.

Bye, Bye, Baby

2007-12-07T09:26:00.000-05:00

Today is a very sad day. My beloved Gracie passed on last night. For those of you don't know...Gracie is my 2 year old Yorkipoo. Otherwise known as a baby in a black fur coat.

For the sake of not shorting out my keyboard with all of my tears, I won't rehash the entire tragic story. Let's just say that one minute she was fine, the next she was not and that she died peacefully in her sleep. (Thank God for small favors).

I'm barely hanging on right now and even Christmas music is reminding me of her little face. Her precious little face. So I'm signing off for now.

Bye Bye Baby Gracie.

Just The Start

2007-12-06T16:25:00.000-05:00

This is my first post to my first blog. Yeah ME!

I'm a huge fan of all of the Mommy Bloggers out there and no where do I claim to be even half as funny or insightful as any of them. I simply love the ineraction that me and my 4 year old have everyday and wanted to let the rest of the world in on my little corner.

So everyday I'm gonna try (let's be real though...I don't work on weekends) to post a little insight to my daily life and the aches and pains of raising a prima donna pre-schooler.

Have you ever felt like your child's personal assistant? Now make that pre-schooler as demanding as the boss lady on "The Devil Wears Prada" and you've got my life. You can't wait until my second post can you?